The Winter Of Crimson Snow
by Chrona4Shirotsubaki
Summary: Deidara is 15, homeless,mentally and emotionally confused, once abused and used as a prostitue by his father, and is nearing death in the snow. Sasori is the kind mysterious man who saves him and shows him the one thing he never knew... compassion.
1. Chapter 1

**This actual came to me while I was working on my Bleach fic, Laughing Fox. Don't know how it came to me at that time. I mean I was working on a bath scene and all. But then again I kept looking outside where it hasn't stopped snowing for two weeks. Then I though how cute it would be for Deidara to be young and out there. I know random, am I not? So that is basically how this came to be....**

_The winter of crimson snow_

Snow... so cold yet beautiful. It falls from the sky in a white silhouette, the color of purity. Each snowflake different though the same to our eyes. The land covered in the purity showing nothing but white. It was there that the boy found himself stranded, shivering, starving, bleeding, afraid, alone, and oh so terribly cold. Freezing was more like it. Deidara, a boy of fifteen abandoned since the age of ten, tried his best to walk across the frozen land. His legs were so weak and tired. 'Why did happen to me? Why does anything happen to me?' Sobs escaped his chapped lips that were turning a dangerous shade of blue. _He had just been searching dumpsters for food when a stranger attacked him out of nowhere..... he didn't know what to expect, but when the man started to undress him, he knew.... since he was five he had been takened by strangers because his father had let them, had been paid for allowing them to do it...._ Another sob followed by another burst of sorrowful tears. It hurt so bad all over.

_No matter how he screamed and how much he cried, the man kept hurting him, raping him. He had pulled his long dirty golden hair and hit him when he tried to fight back._ The memory was too much. Deidara fell to his knees and laid in a ball as he cried til he was chocking. 'Why do I have to suffer? What had I done wrong?' _Once the man left him in that alley, he had ran. Ran and ran into a forest. Back when he was younger he was told he had to be punished and that was when the pain came, the same pain that had just happened. Then he had been told that he had done something wrong. But he hadn't done anything wrong this time. _Blood seeped through open wounds and poured down a place where it shouldn't have. "I-I-I was go-good! I hadn.... hadn't done anything wrong!" He shouted in despair. But then he remember that he had ran away from home a few weeks ago. So even now he would be punished. The tears continued to fall as he writhed in agony and sadness. ' I deserved this. I was bad. I had to be punished.' Those were the thoughts that plagued his confused mind.

Soon his little deprived body began to feel warm, too warm. It didn't make sense. He had been cold just a few minutes ago. His eyes refused to remain open any longer. His heart slowed, his breathing gentle. He sniffed every now and then with soundless sobs while the snow covered his body more and more. The world was turning dark. He was falling.... falling.... falling ever so easiler into the false warmth that edged him to come closer. By this point he hadn't heard the crunch of snow heading towards him. The footsteps that were heading directly to him, nor did he see the figure standing right infront of him. But he did feel the soft touch that awakened him and brought him away from the false security. It held true warmth. He looked up to see a man with blazing red hair dressed in a long black trench coat and a light blue scarf kneeling infront of him, hand resting on his shoulder. The man gazed deep into his eyes as if to seek his soul from within them. But what really made the boy stare was the calmness in his eyes. They were like none that he'd ever seen. There wasn't a vile luster to them or any form of malice. They were melancholic and gentle.

"What has happened to you?" Even his voice was soft and kind. Deidara couldn't move, even when the hand on his shoulder went to his cheek, the back of it slightly sliding against his filty face. The man was appalled at the sight of this small boy's condition. Dirt caked every inch of his bruised unclothed body as with cuts and deep scrapes, blood stained his skin and still flowed, and he felt like ice. By the look of it, it was clear that this boy had been.... 'No, he's so small. How could someone do this to a child?' "Please, come with me." The man said, reaching for Deidara's hand. Deidara then snapped out of his daze and crawled back away from him. "What's wrong? I can help just let me. I will save you."

"No,no! I-I-I don't ne-need help! I deserved this! I-I deserved this! I de-" The boy broke down into histaric weeping.

"What are you talking about? No one deserves this!"

"I.... de... 'his.... I des..." The boy kept repeating the same line over and over again as if his life depended on it. It was then that the man finally understood what was going on. This wasn't the first time he had been raped. He was confused by what whoever had been abusing him said and told him. He didn't know right from wrong. He was lost and hurt.

"No, you don't deserve this." He said firmly. The boy stared at him with empty eyes, silently begging him for salvation. "You don't understand me, but you don't deserve this. Please come with me and I'll be able to help you."

"B-But I'm not worth..."

"Believe me, you are worth saving."

Such kind words, such a kind person. In all his life, Deidara had not once known that such words existed, such a person existed. Without knowing what he was doing or what was instored for him, he took ahold of the hand that was willing to take his. The man smile. Another thing he had never seen before. "What is your name?" He asked, taking off his coat and wrapping it around the boy's exsposed body.

"Deidara." He whispered as he was lifted into the other's arms.

"I'm Sasori, Deidara. Now lets get you somewhere safe."

"Safe?"

"Yes, no one is going to harm you there, Deidara. Not again. Not while I'm around."

**Wow, that was unbeliveablly hard. At least in the end. Now I'm so inspired to draw out little Deidara being saved by Sasori. Next chapter might either consist of Sasori's home and Deidara's struggle to overcome his mental, physical, and emotional problems or I'll have a short songfic because I have the perfect one for this, well almost perfect. Oh, and I will have an explaination for why this is called the winter of crimson snow.**


	2. A Broken Angel Finds A Savior

**Kya, I wasn't expecting so many to actually like this! I think I got more people wanting to read this than Laughing Fox. Hopefully I won't disappoint anyone for what's to come, though exactly what that is, I'm not too sure. This is going to start out strangely calm if not slightly odd. I'm giving Sasori that kind of personality. Oh, and sorry for the wait... someone I know had gone missing and my mind had been distracted. Everything's alright now, though. He's back.**

_A Broken Angel Finds A Savior_

The wind blew fiercely, bringing with it not only the bitter coldness but also the crisp pine smell of the forest. The snow kept pouring down upon the earth as everything seemed unreal. Like they were in a sacred haven, roaming about the forbidden. It's amazing that when the universe finally breaths in tranquility, a dark underlining is just beyond reach and yet still so close. To Sasori it was all so very clear. He walked through the mounds of white powder carring this boy, Deidara, who he had found drawing towards death. The blonde wasn't in the grey quite yet. He was still shaking terribly and bleeding profusely. Despite the odds were against him, Sasori had to try to save this boy. His entire being refused failure. And to think that he had just been out for a walk. The next he was following a trail of blood and small footprints. They had both captivated him. Crimson mixing in a white canvas.

_ The air had a vile smell to it unlike its normal foresty scent of the untamed. He had been following the trail for some time and when he was about to give up on finding its source, there he was.... this boy, the source he had been searching for. He had stunned him. Blood seeped through dirt as silent tears fell over both. The boy may have been in such a disgraceful state, but he looked like an angel, a broken angel. Tainted golden hair covered most of his little face, that lithe pale body shivered as the snow fell upon him, and those tiny wretched sobs that came and went twisted an agonzing feeling in his chest_._ From just seeing the wounds, Sasori had guessed the boy to be a rape victim. After hearing his statement of deserving this horror, it was obvious that this had not been the first time. That is what sickened him the most... that someone would do this to a child. _

Deidara coughed, distracting Sasori from his thoughts. The poor blonde sounded awful. The older brought him closer into his chest, cradling his head to protect him from the wind. 'I have to hurry. He's not going to last much longer out here without proper care.' _The sight of the boy had brought up troublesome memories. Memories he wished would vanish from his mind. Red... the world had been blood red.... dark shadows casted themselves as ghastly phantoms.... the horror.... the darkness.... a soul-shattering scream piercing through the night... _'No. Now is not the time for this.' Sasori thought, focusing on the present. Another mile before he finally reached home. Rushing in, Sasori headed to his room where he laid Deidara on the bed. He left him there as he went in search for a towel, wash cloth, and a bowel to fill with water. Deidara was slowly coming back into conciousness after passing out some time ago when they were almost to the house. He wasn't aware of where he was, where that man, Sasori was, or why it was so quite. It was warmer here... That he could definently feel, though he was still very cold. And that he was on something... comforting....

'It's so soft.... like a cloud. Where am I?' He thought as he snuggled to the quilt underneath him, craving to wrap himself in it, but too weak to move. He was so caught up in his wanting of security, it startled him when something wet touched his shoulder. "Shh, it is only me." A calm voice asured him. "I'm going to clean you a little and then dress your wounds, alright?" Sasori truly wanted to do whatever was needed to be done so that Deidara wouldn't become ill. Or at least not as badly ill as he might be already. The wounds were serious and could become worse if the dirt and what else was on him caused infection. When the only response that he was allowed to continue was trembling, Sasori turned him from his side to on his back, a move that wasn't the smartest. Fearful light blue eyes stared at him, filling with tears. The boy was shaking terribly and breathing quickening into small whining gasps. He was afraid.... he didn't really know this man.... he was naked and weak.... he could easily over power him and... and ... and...

It was too much. Everyone hurt him, abused him, took him. So many memories of pain.... it was his life. Sasori had been the first to show him any form of kindness, but what was to say that he was any different than the rest? Deidara didn't want to be punished again. He'd been punished already for running away. He shouldn't be punished again. "Pl-Please don.... don't .... I'll be good... don't.... pun.... be go-good... please.... ple... good... "

"No, I'm not going to punish you. You haven't done anything wrong." Sasori was at a loss. The boy still thought what he must've been taught and wouldn't believe anything else. Seeing this innocent soul writhing before him, crying in fear and begging to not be punished, caused that tightening feeling in Sasori's chest to become unbearable. It was if firery hands were gripping around his heart, squeezing it full of pain. "Deidara, listen to me... I'm not going to harm you, never." He says softly, putting the cloth down to cup the boys face. Deidara froze in his gentle grip. "I just want to help you. I know it hurts, I know why you're afraid, and I know why you do not trust me, but.... let me do what I can to ease your pain. I want to take it away all together, but I know I can not. However, I can try if you'll let me."

Silence came between the two as they simply held the other's gaze, only being disturbed by the blonde's decreasing sobs and shaky breath. After a few moments, a small hand hesitantly reached up to Sasori's left hand and took ahold of his thumb. Again they stayed unmoving from where they were with Sasori leaning over Deidara's body on the bed, holding his face, and his thumb being almost unnoticeablly held by fragil bloody fingers. Since the boy seemed to have calmed down, Sasori slowly moved his right hand away from his face and grabbed the cloth once again. His left rested beside the other's head, those fingers still loosely wrapped around where they felt the safest. Each movement the older made was calculated and delicate. Noting too fast, too rough, too abrupt, too threatening. Just easy and cautious.

Deidara let the red head whipe his body while holding onto his unoccuppied hand. It was as if he needed something he could hold onto, something that mentally supported him and kept him stable. 'He's so nice to me.' With Sasori, he felt a feeling he had never had before. There still was a hint of distrust and fear. Yes, those two still remained, but.... subconsiouslly he wanted to be near him. And if it took the pain away as he had said, Deidara was willing to stay with him. A strained whimper escaped his throat as Sasori touch a large gash on his stomache. The wound had been deep when it was made and unfortunately looked infected. This discovery caused Sasori to stop at it, rubbing it with his finger, causing the boy to cry out. "How did you get this cut?"

A response wasn't given, just a tightening grip to his hand and a choked sob. So instead of trying to get one again and risk another break down, he just continued to whipe him til the blood and dirt was finally gone, though that one wound in particular bothered him the entire time. 'That injury looks like the infection has spread to most of his side. There's no way I can treat something like this.... home medicine won't do a thing to heal it. Perhaps I can get Sakura to come over; she's a fairly good medic. If I can convince her not to tell anyone about him then he'll be safe from the police, which means the possbility of him returning to his abuser is out of the question.' Nothing was worse than the thought of this poor boy being back with those who hurt him. Sasori was determined to make sure that would never happen.

"Sa-Sa...." Deidara tried to speak, but his throat burned intensely. "Sas.... Saso- *cough*...." Thankfully Sasori was patient and waited for him to say what he wanted. "I... I'm- Imma tired..." Another sorrowful cough raked his deprived body.

"Yes, I know. You can sleep now if you want.... " He had to be careful with his words if he was going to get Deidara to cooperate with another person. He spoke softly, the way you must for a child. "Would you be alright if a woman came here? She can treat those wounds and make you feel much better. I would really like to help you, but they're a little more than I can handle."

At first the little one just stared at him, eyes widen at the thought of someone else being around. However nodded after a few minutes. Sasori then lift him up and placed him under the covers. It surprised him that the boy hadn't gone into histarics when he was picked up, though glad at the same time. In a matter of seconds he was fast asleep. Sasori left the now dirty cloth and near empty bowel of water on the floor and watched Deidara, not wanting to leave his side. He couldn't resist brushing aside the hair that blocked him from seeing that face. As he did, he could feel how strong his fever was. He was burning up! Sasori sighed deeply for he knew that he'd have to call Sakura immeditally. As he was about to leave, a small whine came from the blonde. He looked back down at him to see a few tears falling from his closed eyes. "Even in sleep, he is suffering." The realisation cut like cold steel. To think that this angel that he'd found could harnass such misery.... the world truly was a cruel place. Full of dying innocence and the corrupted demons who devour them.

'I'll be the one to help this angel rise... His clipped wings shall be restored.... And the day will come.... when he will fly again.'

**Ah, I hope this is alright for a second chapter. I've been working on it til no end. If any one knows how I can make this better, then please tell me. I've got some ideas instored for this, but the help would be appreciated.**


	3. Patience is the key to unlock the heart

**Chrona's back with another chappie.... Our lil' Deidara has been saved physically by Sasori, but can he save him from the battle that rages deep within? Especially when there is a dark shadowy past to this kind-hearted crimson haired man?**

_Patience is the key to unlock the heart...._

_ Even to the most withdrawn souls_

_And even on this night of dread... the stars shine on as heavenly as ever. Within broken blue eyes I saw the color of true sorrow. In the voice I heard the shattered cry of sorrow._

~*~

The night was restless as with all those who were awake, being uncomfortablly somber. Deidara kept having nightmares constantly everytime he closed his eyes. The poor thing. Sasori didn't dare leave the room in fear the boy might start choking in his sleep from his uncontrollable weeping, which had happened five frightening times already. It was as if an alarm went off in his head, telling him to have these panic attacks. If it wasn't the choking, it was the high pitched screaming. The screaming was the worst. So much fear and agony.... Sasori couldn't stand to hear those soul-shattering crys. 'Surely he didn't do this every night.' He had thought while petting Deidara's head, doing whatever he could to help the blonde. Earlier he had learned that cradling the boy in his arms resulted in an even worse situation, so petting him and or holding his shoulders seemed to be all he could really do physically. And what struck repeatedly at his heart was that this probably had accured on most nights.

It was now four in the morning and to Sasori's relief, Deidara was peacefully asleep. Night time medicine was truly a great invention, it really was. And to think that things had been going so well before. With some determined convincing (and tons of begging), Sakura did come over at midnight and helped tend to Deidara's injuries. She agreed to not tell authorities about him unless his condition worsened. It wasn't what she wanted personally, but all the same she kept her promise. The pink haired woman meant well. She knew the danger of phychological damage this boy certainly had. But even still... she knew Sasori. If anything was too serious, she knew he would take responsible actions. When she had arrived, Sasori immeditally lead her to his room where the young blonde was half asleep. Both of them knew that they'd have to be careful on how they handled this situation. Again the red head told him why this woman was here and what she would do, easing his worries so that everything would go smoothly. By this point Deidara was just too tired to care or acknowledge what was actually happening. He simply nodded his head, eyes threatening to shut once again.

The medic first fixed up his cuts and scrapes, then checked his vitals, then began to dig in her bag for medicine. "How old are you?" She had asked, still searching in her bag. When an answer wasn't given, she looked up at Sasori. "I need to know his age in order to know how much antibiotics I have to give him."

Sasori nodded and kneeled down infront of the bed so that he was almost eye level with the boy. It is always best to be eye leveled with a child as to seem less imtimidating. Deidara kept his head bowed, hiding behind his bangs. Could he really trust him? This man who filled him with warmth? Even now he was afraid, afraid of being hurt again. Empty blue eyes gazed at the floor as if it were the most unearthly sight to behold. When a large hand gently went under his chin, he flinched despite himself. "It's alright... She's not going to hurt you; I promise. No harm will ever come to you. Not as I stand here by your side." Sasori said, eyes strong with emotion. This had Deidara unable to look away, completey stunned. To have someone care for him this much was.... wonderful. Without knowing the feeling that over came his body, a light filled those melancholic eyes. Unbeknown to him, it was the happiness inside that he was feeling.

"Fif-Fifteen-n." He said at last though slightly uncertain. His age surprised the older. Fifteen? Really? 'He's so small.... so skinny.... so fragile. If I were to handle him too roughly, he'd crumble. If I were to grabbed him too tightly, he'd bruise instantly. If I were to honestly say what age he was, I'd say younger than fifteen. Surely this can not be.' This bothered Sasori more than he liked. Deidara.... how neglected he must've been to wither away and be broken down from the inside out. To think of the kind of people who'd do this to a child, to their own child was disgraceful! Rage burned every nerve in his body at the thought of what had happened to this poor lost soul.

"... that'll be alright with you or won't it?" Sakura interrupted his thoughts suddently.

"Ah, what?"

"Sasori, I'm going to need you to give him some medicine after this that may cause him intense stomache pains. It may hurt, but'll help greatly."

"If it'll help-"

"And I need to give him a shot, so if you could get that clear to him...."

Sasori turned to Deidara who had tensed up after hearing intense stomache pains. He knew what they felt like whether from someone kicking him or from unbearable hunger. Yeah, that kind of agony was number two in his book for worst pain. The red head used his velvety voice to put him at ease. Strange... that only merely hearing that voice could relax his mind, body, and soul. The boy nodded his head, allowing the woman to give him whatever he needed. If Sasori said it was alright, then it was alright. The older trys to get up to let Sakura have space, but the blonde holds onto his sleeve with both of his hands. They held on desperately, trembling in apprehension. Deidara was silently asking for him not to go, to be there to protect him like he said he would. And of course Sasori complied, kneeling back down and encloses those little hands in his own.

From there Sakura had given him a shot of something and a few pills. The gash Sasori had been worried about was indeed infected and had to reopened to be cleansed. Even through that Deidara had been cooperative, closing his eyes tightly and holding onto the crucial support his rescuer offered. Little by little it was becoming clear that there was hope for him. That he could recover physically.... mentally... and more importantly, emotionally. All it took was faithful help and patience. With directions on when to take what, Sakura left Sasori to handle Deidara on his own at two-oh-five. Since then nightmares had plagued the little one's mind for hours. And that is where he found himself now, beside the bed at four, tired yet unable to sleep. Thankfully, the combination of medicine and the shot with the additional sedative, had finally kicked in and let Deidara rest peacefully.

"Things sure have been chaotic lately." Sasori whispered to himself, wearily watching the small chest before him raise and fall. "At least he's out of the cold. But what am I going to do? Taking care of him is going to take a great deal of responsibility and time. It's not like I can just leave him alone or have someone watch him while I'm out. He almost couldn't handle being around Sakura.... Though, I can't really leave him now, can I?" It was true. Even if he did have to go somewhere, he wouldn't be able to. He couldn't. The boy needed to be shown what it's like to leave without fear. To be free. To be happy. To be cared for. To live! And more importantly he needed someone to be there to guide him through the hardships. Sasori was going to be that one. 'I'll be the one to hold him in comfort, speak caring words to ease the pain, revive his soul, and whipe away the tears.'

He gave an exaggerated sigh as he rubbed his sleep deprived eyes. Thinking of how sweet this innocent child was brought unexpected flash backs, terrifing images of darkness. _The world had been turned into a living hell with bodies scattered and mangled down the path. A delightfully dreadful harmony of a music box sounded at every corner. Fire blazed on through the night, burning corspes to create the disgusting bitter smell of incinerating flesh. _No, that wasn't happening. But even as he tried to steady his breathing, Sasori saw the glowing ambers. _They rose up from the trees, the houses, the fences - everywhere! And the worst part of it all was the blood. So much blood dripped from what seemed from every place possible. His entire vision was pure crimson and coal black. Death.... so much.... white? Where? How? From the sky? Snow? It.... It's turning red! No... Screaming...._

He let out a stranggled exhale as he tried to fend off the disturbing reminders of what shouldn't be remembered. During the time he hadn't been breathing at all and now found himself gasping while trying to be as quiet as possible, recomposing himself before anything got out of hand. How pathetic! Those damn memories were nothing, nothing at all. Why be so bothered by what is no more? Better yet, lets say it never happened! That's right it didn't happen. Just a nightmare.... yeah, a nightmare that just wants to resurface every now and then. Yeah... Denial really is proof of how low one has really come in life. Sasori was too smart to be lured in by such false hopes. Needless to say that in his mind the truth was always there. Always hiding like a snake in the grass, awaiting to strike at a moment of weakness. But even he was defenceless against his own stubborness. To put it aside and 'forget' about it was a habit yet to be brokened.

**Heh, I guess the title doesn't really suit the events, huh? I had plans for something along those lines in the beginning, but ended up with a 'what is the secret' thing. Oh, well. Patience will be needed for the next both in viewers and Sasori-Danna. Reviews will be taken gratefully and for those who have... thank you! There definently will be plenty of chapters to come, even if they take some time in the process.**


	4. Remembering how to trust again

**Alright to tell ya the truth, I've been a little disappointed on how short my chapters have been. I will try to give you awsome reviewers more to take in. I mean come on... ya deserve that. I just think the amount I've been giving isn't enough to keep myself interested, thus there shall be more in each chappie. Oh, and if anyone is a little lost in my writing style (and I'm saying this because someone I know is) then don't be afraid to ask any questions. I've been getting into the kind of work people used to write in I think the 17th century, though mine's a bit more modern. Okay, a lot more modern. Hmm, nah, forget that... that style is in another story I'm working on. Ah, I'm ranting to myself here! Sorry.**

_Remembering How To Trust Again_

The first sight Deidara saw when opening his eyes was a white ceiling, something he hadn't seen in a while. In fact, this was also the first he had ever awaken up warm and not as in as much pain as he usually is in. A typical morning would be of such intesity that he'd pass out from the shire force of it. Strange. Less pain? How? But then he remembered.... Sasori..... 'He saved me. He made what hurted go away. Thank you. Thank you so much!' Small tears of joy were silently falling down his little face as a rare smile formed on those timid lips. He used the blanket (of which he loved more than anything right now) to dry his eyes and face. Speaking of him, where was Sasori? Did he leave? Fearing that he had been left behind, Deidara sits up quickly and frantically looks around the room, panic rising up into his chest. Suddently, he jumps when his hand brushes against something beside him. The older hadn't left him. No, he was far too worried to leave him alone and so had fallen asleep on the floor, leaning against the bed. The startled gasp from the blonde had awakened the older.

As Sasori groggily lifted himself to his feet, Deidara unknowingly crawled to the end of the bed in the corner against the wall. Despite how grateful he was towards the red haired man, he was still untrusting. This really struck Sasori's heart once realising what he had done, but understood fully. The boy needed time, yes, time and patience and love. He'd have to remind himself that. Actually now he needed cleaned up. Sakura had been clear that he would have to have a bath in the morning and fresh bandages. Well, technically a shower since a bath would just stir up the bacteria. "Deidara..." Sasori says softly, trying not to frighten the boy further. "You are going to have to get a bath, okay?" There wasn't a response as expected. The boy wouldn't even look up at him. He just stared down at the bed with the blanket wrapped firmly around him, trembling. The older decided to simply sit on the bed opposite of him and wait to see if he'll come out of his shell on his own. Deidara timidly began to look up after some time passed only to quickly look down again. Once he pulled the blanket over his head, Sasori knew that his plan wasn't working out. "I'm not going to hurt you, Deidara. All I need you to do is get cleaned up so the infection doesn't get worse. You don't want it to, do you? It will bring back the pain."

No, no he didn't want that. Never again. But he was so afraid. Baths always lead to something bad. In other words, it caused more agony whenever someone said it was time for a 'bath.' That is how he knows that word to be. Water and pain. Suffering in liquid. "N-N-No..."

"Then come out from under there." Talking to him was like walking across a mine field. Each step had to be cautious and slow. If one single move was too reckless or fast then it was all over, exploding into complete disaster. With more patient coaxing, Deidara did come out finally, taking the hand that was offered to him and jumping off the bed to follow the kind red headed angel. Naturally he was uncertain, being naked and all, but some how that detail went unnoticed by the other. Without taking the time to look at his new surrounds, the blonde watched Sasori turn on the water and adjust it to the temperature he deemed suitable while not letting go of his hand. "Alright, I'll leave the rest to you, Deidara. If you need anything don't be afraid to call me, okay?" The boy nodded and made a sound of understanding. With things pretty much under control, Sasori left a big white fluffy towel on the ground near the shower and gave Deidara his privacy. No need to worry over anything, right? I mean it was merely a shower. What could go wrong? All the little one had to do was wash up. 'Hmm, he'll need something to wear.... and something to eat. He must be starving. By the way he looks, he couldn't have eaten anything in a while.' Sasori decided to go ahead and get some food ready for his special guest.

Back to the younger of the two, Deidara stripped off his soiled bandages, laid them on the floor since he didn't know where else to put them, and stepped into the gentle spray of the shower. The water felt so nice, so warm and comforting. Who knew that water could be this way? Whenever he thought of taking a bath the phrase was very much different than this. _The water pounded him like daggers of ice.... _Deidara froze in place, still holding his hands in his soapy hair. 'Wh-What was that?' _Now it was scolding.... _His eyes widden at the not so distant memories. He wasn't there. He wasn't there. He was here in the home of someone who was protecting him. _He was being hit again and again. _He was safe. No one was around. He was standing und- _on the ground with the water turning red. Where did these gashes come from?! All over.... large, bleeding, burning cuts.... _Safe? Unharmed? _'S-S-Soo muc-ch blood... it, it hurts... pl-lease... sto-o-op!' _"No, no, no, no.... no pain... no blood... no on-" _He's crying... being shoved face down into the tainted water... He's screaming. The knife penatrates him, stabbing where something else usually goes. His sobs only make the person want to hear more and thus twists the knife inside him to get what he wants._

A soul shattering screech is heard from the bathroom, startling Sasori to drop the the platter of food. He rushes to the boy, leaving the broken glasses on the floor. "Deidara!" He yells panically. The boy hears him, but is still too caught up in the past. Though that doesn't stop him from jumping out of the shower and locking the door. What to believe? Who to believe? What is true? _Deeper and deeper the blade tears him apart. _Another cry is heard from Deidara as Sasori finally makes it to the door to find it locked. "Deidara! Deidara, open the door. Come on, what's happening? Are you alright? Deidara?" The older's frantic pleas are answered by loud miserable sobs. He had just left him for a few minutes.... He was fine then.... What was going on?

"No, P-... Ple-Please.... don't hurt.... not... b-b-bad-d-d-d.... g-good... I be good... sto- punis-...." Another piercing scream, another pounding of the door by the desperate man on the outside.

Fearing that the young abused teen was having some relapse of memory, Sasori tried anything he could to reason with him. To bring him back into reality. To let him know he wasn't being attacked. To save him from himself in this unstable time. "Deidara, listen to me, nothing is going to hurt you." He says as calmly as he can at the moment. "No one is in there with you. You haven't done anything wrong. No one is punishing you for anything. You have been good. You're a good boy, Deidara." All of these heart-filled words are nothing more than just words.... and they can not get through to the one they were meant for. Deidara sat in a corner opposite of the door, curled into a ball and rocking back and forth to try to distinct what was actually happening. Was it now with him worring Sasori by keeping him away or... or... or.... _in and out the knife rapes him, however not giving him merciful death.... _Sasori yells louder to get his attention. _His abuser laughs insanely. _Whatever vision he was in, he was crying. Both were equally painful.

Sasori soon stops his rash and useless attempts at connecting to the boy and rests his right arm against the door with his forehead down on it, thinking. There had to be something he could do. Wasn't there a key to this damn thing? Certainly, but where was it again? Aurgh, of all times to lose it! Wait a minute... there was a backup in his room that went to all the doors in his house. Without so much as considering the possibility of his young guest getting into dangerous things in there, he all but flew down the hall, leaving Deidara to writh on his own. He just wanted it all to go away. Everything that was anything. He couldn't handle it. He didn't know how! And now he has proved to that nice man how worthless he really is. What if he threw him back out there?! Back where those people were! This thought made harsh sobs turn into grotesque coughs.

He'd rather be set on fire, shot in the head, stabbed in the heart a thousand times over, hung from the door by a noose of barbwire, be poisoned, torn limb from limb- anything else than that disgracefully sickly torture. He couldn't take it again! In the end when it was over for a brief moment, an almost hopeful moment, he would always feel even less than what he was, if that was possible for someone like him. A sex doll, sewed together too many times that it was a wreck and a shame to be placed on even the most poorly made shelves. There never ceased to be an inner sense of filth. It was there no matter what happened before whether it had only been molestation or simply oral. He didn't know if he'd ever be clean. Soap was useless to use and water was pointless. Nothing can purify what has been ruined into abomination. Everything was vile as with all that had been done, so that made him trash as well. Not even his tears were untouched. All of the abuse has seeped through his entire being. A gross underlining dirty feeling remained.... like the soul would never be cleansed.

'Why?' _Blood... _'Why?' _Senseless violence.... _'Why?' _Meaningless existence.... _'Why?!' He was so damaged, so broken. _"Spoiled goods."_ Yeah, that's right. He was spoiled goods as he had been called so many times before by those who bought him. 'And who would want what has already been used?' As he fell deeper into a self brought pitt of despair, the door had opened and those protecting arms wrapped themselves tenderly around him once again. He was pulled into a chest with a racing heart beating thuderously beneath the skin. It was unfortunate that he couldn't really feel any of it. Inside there was darkness, outside there was scars, but all over there was some form of pain. Sasori knew this. He wasn't naive nor was he a fool. That is why he was careful when letting that small head rest against him, why he let the tears soak through his shirt, why he laid his forehead in beautiful blonde hair, why he was so weary as he slowly rocked back and forth with the boy, why he unthreateningly hushed away the whimpering, why he was there. He may not have known what Deidara had gone through, however.... he did know the sadness of being alone. And that is all the reason he needed.

It felt like hours passed as he kept that endearing embrace before Deidara's weeping ceased. Though despite this, his shaking ran strong throughout his lithe body as with his shuddering breaths that had once been ragged sobs. Sasori didn't stop rocking and soon began to pet the head he was cradling. Deidara tried to give Sasori a sign that he would be alright, but this was impossible. He was still in between past and present. _His abuser is pulling his hair at the roots where it hurts the most.... _Sasori is holding him and stroking his head kindly. He wanted to believe in the one with this great man. He wanted to feel the warmth on the inside that he felt on the outside from him. He wanted to trust him with all of his bleeding heart. He wanted to, he really did.

"Sa-Sa... I... Sa... don't.... le-... " 'Sasori-Danna, don't leave me. Save me.'

"Shhh, it's alright. I'm here, Deidara. It's alright...."

How long did it take for the boy to trust in those words, that voice, this man? Or had he already done that by allowing him to take him away from death's door step? Whatever the cause, Deidara had found the one and only person he could barry his head into and cry unashamed. Sasori was there to fend off the monster that desired his anguish.... And that wasn't going to change any time soon.

**Alrighty, I finally got to updating this. Any one think I'm losing my edge for writing? Well, anyways, if you've been waiting for something light-hearted, then do I have good news for ya! I'm going to add a lil' up liftedness to this if that makes any sense to you. Ya know, some light through the dark veil that has consumed this since the beginning, though was completely needed. Til that time your eagerly awaiting review craved author, Chrona-chan.**


	5. A smile in despair

**I am sorry for the wait to those who have stuck around and have been more than patient with me! I'd like to give a special thanks to Rebel Jr. for encouraging me to get back into this. It was your messages that got me to update this chapter. I will try to get another update soon. It won't be as long of a wait as it was for this one. That I'm sure of.**

_A smile in despair_

_I'll never feel alone again with you by my side. You're the one, and in you I confide._

He wouldn't let go. He wouldn't leave him. Sasori was going to stay by Deidara's side whenever he was needed. It's funny... that when in life all you do is think to take care of yourself, protect only yourself, survive. Then something clicks in your mind and suddently that way of life comes crashing through with new meaning. A trigger is pulled. Compassion seeps in that barrier you created to block the rest of the world out. That trigger is Deidara... and the sympathy explained itself. Had it been hours before the weary boy calmed and he could finally muster words, even though he refused to actually do so? Did he really have an ounce of trust for him? Was it fear that made him keep his gaze down towards the floor as he leaned his little head against Sasori's chest? The older wanted to do something, anything that would get him to speak again, to come out of his private shell.

"Deidara... " The red head began gently, peeling the boy away from him at arms length and making him focus on his eyes. "I want you to tell me what happened. Of now and then... Not right away, but when you're ready. Promise me that you'll do this. I truly want to help you, however if we continue pretending there isn't a problem only disaster will occur." The blonde gave no hint as to if he understood any of this. He just stared fearfully into those concerned glowing orbs. "Will you do this, Deidara?" The younger tried to answer, but the intensity in the other's eyes... they were so soft, but strong. "Deidara."

"Hm, S-Sa... Sasori-Danna... y-yes." If there was anyone he could confide in, it was him.

"Danna?"

Deidara's confidence ended here. He was taught to call everyone master and so he was more than willing to be this man's slave.

"No, Deidara, don't call me that. We're equals- I can't le-"

"I'm supposed to. I must!" The boy quivers. Why didn't Sasori-Danna understand? He held his life in his hands now. He said so in some way, right? Anyhow, he wanted to serve the other for saving his meaningless life and caring when no one ever had.

"But..."

"Sas... s-so..." Deidara whimpered, tears of confusion edging their way to the surface.

"Alright, alright." Sasori caved. What else could he do? Deidara was trembling again and the last thing the both of them needed was another little frenzy. 'He still needs professional help. For now it can wait, but later on...' Sasori's thoughts were disturbed when he felt a sudden chill pressing against his abdomen and thighs. He looked down to find Deidara had snuggled to him again, trying to warm his freezing wet skin on his almost equally soaked cloths. Seeing him there so vulnerable, so submissive, so trusting, so innocent... so adorable. What? No, he shouldn't think like that. This distraught teen was hurt. He trusted in him, believed that he'd mend the scars made by the scum who had hurt him. To be thinking such impure things about someone who is depending on him entirely was disgraceful. But he could say he was cute, couldn't he? Deidara nudged his little head into his side with a small sigh. Ah, yes he could say he was cute. Sasori smiled as he lifted the shivering body into his arms and slowly stood up. "Lets get the rest of the soap out of your hair." He smiled gently, compassion evident.

He could feel Deidara tense as he placed him back on the shower floor, but decided against fretting too much. It'll take time for him to adjust to normal activities. He can't be babied every single time something made him uncomfortable. Though... Sasori would in a heart beat had he known better. Those constantly fearful blue eyes never left his as he turned the hot water nozzle more to heat up the coldening shower and started running his hands through long blonde hair. Even when wet, it was soft and beautiful like golden silk.

Deidara was beginning to... get use to being around Sasori-Danna. The man was different than anyone he'd met before. He didn't hit him, or yell at him, or leave him alone, or touch him inappropiately. The boy coughed roughly into his hands, whole body shuddering with it. He wrapped the blanket Sasori had given him after cleaning him, redressing his wounds, and then dressing him in some old cloths of his. Only a long white t-shirt hung on his lithe body, but it was better than nothing at all. With the fuzzy cotton blanket kept around him, Deidara wasn't cold. And that was a feeling he had craved for for as long as he could remember. At the moment he was sitting in the kitchen, waiting for his kind master to return. He said he wouldn't be long. Just needed to dry the floor in the bathroom... But being by himself was such a lonley feeling. One he feared reliving again.

Another rough cough rakes through him. 'Ngh, I hope Sasori-Danna can make me feel better..." The blonde smiles to himself, remembering how the older had made him feel so much better in so many ways. He stopped most of the pain. He made his insides calm and not sickly. He made him feel so good. A blush forms as he recalls earlier after his devasting break down. He could still feel those gentle fingers running across his scalp, easing away the stress. It didn't matter that he was still scared or naked under the gaze of another stranger because that terrible sense of inner filth wasn't there. With Sasori he was someone, not a doll to be used for some disgusting sadistic pleasure. He was coming alive... he was no longer dead inside any more. And he couldn't begin to think how to thank Sasori for giving him life, setting him free from his oppresser of his soul at long last. It was because of him that there may be a chance for him yet...

"Alright, now that that's done, how about something to eat?" Sasori announced, walking in casually. His sudden entrance startled Deidara who jumped in return. "Oh, sorry..." He would have to watch how he entered a room from now on. The boy was most clearly going to be surprised by loud sounds and fast going daily routines of the red head. The younger watched as he searched around the kitchen for a pan, a wooden spoon, and oddities that he wasn't sure of. "Do you like chicken soup, Deidara?"

"Chicken soup?"

"You don't know what it is, do you?" Sasori felt a sinking in his chest. Whenever he thought about how Deidara lived in horror and torture, he would feel this because he knew that the boy not only had to have been violently abused, but also deprived of what his small body needs. Food and water being the basic.

"N-No... I'm sorry, Sasori-Danna..." He whispered ashamed, hiding in the blanket. Sasori put down his supplys and bent down on his knees to be eye level with the boy.

"It's okay. Don't worry about not knowing something, Deidara. If something confuses you then don't be afraid to ask me questions. It's not a bad thing. Deidara, I won't be upset with you." He petted Deidara's head in comfort and understanding. Those pained blue eyes looked up at him and lightened at the smile he was being given. The boy smiled back weakly, indicating that he was okay. 'Remember, Sasori, mine field. Step around with care.' "I may not be a very good cook, but I think even I can manage chick soup. " That sweet smile only grew with his words. Though it was quickly gone as it's owner strangled against a fierce coughing fit. Yes, he had gotten sick with the flu at some point, probably from being out in the cold with no cloths and open wounds. The infections, especially the one on his stomache, certainly weren't helping his body in the least.

Medicine was needed. Sakura had made a very clear-cut point at telling him to give him what she had left at very specific times. Sasori got up with a sigh to get what he needed and went back to Deidara's side with the medicine and a glass of water. "I know you might not want to, but you need to take this." He instructed, pouring the the strange red color liquid into its measuring cup. Deidara refused to have it near him as Sasori tried to get it to his lips, shaking his head defiantly. It looked too much blood... his blood... It had to be a drug. It was poison! "Come on now. This will get rid of those coughs. You don't want to be coughing all the time and get a sore throat?" It was too late for that. His throat burned so much already.

Seeing as how the abused child wasn't going to cooperate, Sasori decided to show him that it was perfectly safe. "Deidara, this won't do anything to you besides help you. It's safe to take." He holds it infront of his eyes briefly before gulping it down. It was just cough medicine after all. But what he didn't expect was the extremely sour taste it had. Deidara watched as Sasori-Danna made a funny face of disgust and sighed in a whiny way. "See... completely safe..." He rasped, eyes wide. In the end it makes Deidara laugh quietly and he takes it for him. He knew if the other did it, it was alright. Because Sasori-Danna was a good person. He would never do anything to hurt him or any one else... right?

There was a chance for him yet... but could the same be said for the other?


End file.
